Tag Archives: change is good

Ending, Meet Beginning

I’m sitting here in my panties, belting out George Michael songs, as sunlight spills in.

I’m absolutely comfortable in my own skin this morning, beaming and grooving.

It’s only fitting, then, that this should be the last-ever “Smut and Steff” posting. Yep. Done like dinner, baby. By the time you read this, likely, this will already be “The Cunting Linguist” again.

I’m home, baby. Back in black, back to myself.

Only home’ll never have felt so good, thanks to my new template that’ll be uploaded within the hour or two.

Everything I ever learned about believing in myself has been learned in the process of being stupid enough to switch from “The Cunting Linguist” to “Smut and Steff” back in the bad ol’ days of 2006.  More than I can probably ever explain to y’all.*

Coming back to my writing roots? Priceless. On every level.

The end of the mistaken-self is nigh. We bringin’ it back to where we from. Damn rights.

I underestimated the brand I created. I didn’t read the value in my vision right. I’ve been kicking myself since. But just because you recognize what you’ve lost doesn’t mean you’re ready to take it back. It’s been a long road.

I’m ready.

You don’t know the character points I’ve picked up along the way, and I don’t have to explain.

Like anything in life, you don’t need all that unfolding here, now. It’ll become apparent over time.

It’s a good day.

Seeya, Smut.

Meet the Cunt.

*But lord knows imma tryin’. If you’re in the audience for Friday’s talk at Northern Voice 2010, you can be there for my first-ever telling of the whole sordid tale. God help us all.

In My Happy Exhausted Place

Next Thursday is the 10th anniversary of my mother’s death. Usually, by around this time, I’m moping a bit.

Today, however… I have:

  • rearranged my living room, with Gayboy’s incredible help (a wunnerful friend of the bestest variety)
  • changed my shitty old broom closet into an awesome new food  pantry after having installed new shelves and two coats of paint
  • cleaned my basement’s storage unit out and rearranged it
  • took 8 trips up and down my four flights of stairs, always carrying stuff, several times about 30 lbs per trip
  • did the epic Ikea & Home Depot trips
  • loaded up ze new pantry

All in all, it’s been a fucking gruelling day. Non-stop, really. A couple breaks for food, but very short ones. No, not moping.

My mother would LOVE to see me doing all these stuff. I used to guilt trip her for purging things. She’d laugh her ass off that I finally “get” it.

Mom’s day will be bittersweet this year, but I’m proud of the direction I’m heading in, and that’s what’s to hang onto on nights like these.

What a fantastically accomplished day. I’m too tired to share more with you or offer anything else. But from where I sit, I got plenty. This is a good day.

Everything done today, by the way, has been a Terra Suggestion. I’ll link to her when my brain’s working again, or you can check other recent postings, which will have the Organizational Guru Called Terra listed somewhere near the bottom.