Tag Archives: insomnia

Turning the Light On

For weeks, if not months, I have felt like I’ve been sleepwalking.

Recently, my sleep began reverting to the horrible insomniac ways that preceded my leaving Vancouver. I found myself moody, tense, and dragging my ass through my day. I’ve felt like I’ve been in a wet paper bag, slogging through each day and never getting half of what was on my to-do list done.

August was like a light turned on in my head and I became more productive, and was really hitting my stride in working-from-home and staying-on-top-of-life duties.

New sheets, freshly-washed duvet/cover/mattress pad, and more. Because good sleep is worth it.

Then Thanksgiving hit and our 100+ days of sun turned into typical Wet Coast autumns — full of moody gray clouds and all kinds dullness.

Last week, I grew angry as I realize my home I’d chosen for my Victoria life results in receiving the very last of my direct sunlight by 9:30am at this time of year. I was barely even able to get myself to my desk by 10am.

Then, Friday, I impulse-purchased a Seasonal Affective Disorder lamp. Yes, with actual money. It wasn’t some promo gift for writing a blog.

This week, after four days, I’ve got my house clean, my work done, my client’s project put to bed. I’m more optimistic, have more energy, and am sleeping from 10–6, which is my ideal night.

Now I’m on a mission to make my life less seasonally affected. Everything from buying gadgets to investing in better sleep products (new pillow, sheets, et cetera).

I even feel a bit more like writing.

Let’s see where a couple weeks of determined Season-Affectations-Combatting gets me, eh?

Beyond these battles, there are other things afoot in The World Of Steff. But for now I have to work on bringing them to fruition, not spilling the beans just for your voyeuristic pleasure.

Stay tuned, and I’ll report back what life is like later next week after I’ve had a couple weeks of this daily dose of Fake Daylight.

Science fucking rocks.

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Phases Come and Phases Go

Two or three years ago I made myself the promise that I was going to stop stopping. No more stagnation. Growth, growth, growth! Think tumour, think– uh, wait a second. Scratch that one. Think… something.

When I was a kid, about 15, I’d gotten a bit more sophisticated than the “George-Michael-over-every-single-fucking-wall!” method of interior design, and now only had George in a few select spots, as I had begun to fill the rest with Johnny Depp and witticisms I’d cut out of my teen magazines. No, I’m not being ironic. I just had to look really hard. Continue reading

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sleepless thoughts

insomnia… when you’re alone, you feel more alone. when you’re not, embracing a little mischief goes a long way. some thoughts of mine just now:

_______

3:59am. insomnia. and i’m thinking of you.

a distraction. that’s what you’d be. plain and simple. a way for me to take my mind of what i’m really wanting, sleep.

if i can’t have that, maybe i could have you. you’d do. but you’re sleeping.

still. you could just lie there. i entertain myself well, a body at my disposal.

where to start? i have notions, but i’m open to suggestion.

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Just Another Manic Monday — And the Sugasm

Ahh, minions. Just another manic Monday, hey?

I know being outside of my bed is the last place I want to be this morning. Working for eight hours? Even less appealing.

No, a perfect day for me today would be getting up, having a hot oily bath, smoking up, going back to bed, and praying the gods of sleep felt it time to bless me. Mm, curled up in bed. Sigh.

I’ve been off my mood meds for a couple of weeks now, and it’s really affecting my ability to sleep. I tend to wake up at 6:30am whether I’m rested or not now, and considering I got to bed at 6am Saturday morning, that’s not really helping me much. Yeah, there’s a story there, no, you’re not hearing it. Imagine, minions. Imagine.

The rest of my weekend was filled with similarly shitty sleep, a few unsuccessful naps, and that’s that.

I’m all right with it, but it sure makes for a lousy start to a week. Still, I’m going to cycle today anyhow. Vive le Steff.

All in all, I’m still looking forward to my week ahead. Last week came with several unexpected turns, none of which I’d have guessed on Monday, so I’m hoping this week is similarly filled with excitement.

And, if not, well, at least I’ll finally be seeing Wall-E on Wednesday. Ha. How can the week be a total bust with quality animation, I ask you?

Maybe my brain will be functioning by tomorrow. Until then, I shall leave you with the wonderful Sugasm.

So, here, eat some Sugasm. You’ll feel better.

___________________________

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants.

This Week’s Picks
Anti-Porn Protest Gets Weird
“People get very excited about their causes and lack the sense to see if the information backs them up. ”

The Come Shot
“You don’t see their bodies going blotchily red and hear them howling like a banshee.”

Third Time’s a Charm
“If I lift my kilt on Bourbon Street I’m much more likely to get arrested than if Elizabeth takes off her top.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
In My Office

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