Woe is You? Oh, ho! Woe is US!

I’m giving a few people a stay of execution on Twitter.

Soon, the unfollows will commence, as I seek to find new folks to fill my ADHD hours with.

Who’s in danger of getting the axe? Anyone who keeps whining.

See, I’ll bitch. Bitching’s good. I encourage rants and bitching. I even encourage being argumentative and incendiary. (Obviously. Look at me!)

But if all you’re doing is whining about how the latest inconvenience in your life is, well, an inconvenience, or you’re moaning about what a loser you are, or doing the whole existential pity-party “Why me?” bullshit, well, I could probably be filling my cyberspace better.

Why you? Because it’s your fucking turn. Like it was for me for 10 years. Because that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Because, for the REST OF YOUR LIFE, you will experience inconveniences, tragedies, and heartbreak. Because that’s life. Because it takes thick skin. Because you have to want it. Because you have to FIND the good shit in the middle of the tough shit. BECAUSE. Because.

But now you know “why” you, here’s what you gotta do: Get the hell over it! And stop dumping it on us.

I lost a lot of readers when I was clinically depressed. Rightfully so. Not because I think they were leaving me out of a “wow, you suck” MO, but because I know how hard it is to feel up when you’re reading shit that’s down.

The further I get in making things happen for myself, the more I realize it’s true: Attitude is everything. Me sitting around reading why someone doesn’t like themselves, they don’t like life, they don’t think think anything is ever going to improve… well, sorry, that doesn’t happen. I don’t have the time in my life for that. More importantly, I know I’ve been that person before, and I never, ever want to be her again. That means surrounding myself with people, real or cyber, who think life’s worth the struggle I’m putting into it.

I’ve dropped a few people of late because I found their “woe is me” attitude to be a bit much.

This I’ll say for myself — I’ve never really done the “woe is me” thing. When I do anything sort of pity-party-thang, I at least try to be funny and self-deprecating in a warm and relatable way.  I don’t feel like I’ve been victimized. I feel like I’ve just been getting my share. That said, I also feel like I live a pretty blessed existence, all my struggles be damned. I need to believe that.

But these people logging on, spilling their woes, and “Oh, why does anyone ever want to shag me? Who would? Oh, I’m such a loser. I’m a nobody. Wah-wah-wah.”

Sorry, but fuck off. Really. You know what? Probably no one wants to shag you with that attitude. Negativity sucks. Why not just hang a big sign that says, “Hi, would you like to be my crutch tonight?” You might as well just tell them then and there that you’re needy and codependent.

*I* found myself becoming incredibly negative in 2007. So I quit my job. Changed my life. Because I realized the only person holding me back was me. And that the more I bitched, whined, and moaned, the more people I’d lose from my life, the more I would isolate myself, and the more I’d hate everything.

So I shut the fuck up. Did something about it. And here I am.

Here’s hoping a few of those folks can do the same. Because, if they don’t, I certainly won’t be reading about it much longer. Who’s kidding who? Why you, indeed.

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This entry was posted in Advice, Best of Steff, Dating, Dimestore Philosophy, Ethics, General, Humour, Opinion (Editorial & Commentary), Society, Steff Rants, Twitter and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Trackbacks are closed, but you can post a comment.

4 Comments

  1. Posted February 14, 2009 at 12:44 pm | Permalink

    I agree. It’s bringin me down, man. Because I use Tweetdeck and I have 4 groups just so I can see more people’s tweets at a time, I can also stop viewing someone’s tweets without unfollowing them if I consider them to be a friend.

    I have only about 4 or so that I follow that I feel this way about. But it’s enough and frequent enough that I find myself not wanting to even read anything they say right now.

    Lilly’s last blog post..Alter Egos, Super Heros and Secret Identities

  2. Posted February 15, 2009 at 9:23 pm | Permalink

    Love your take on attitude — and the way you pulled out of the shit into the light. Excellent!

    Marsha Keeffer’s last blog post..New York Times: Obama Crowns Geithner and Summers Kings of Detroit

  3. kate
    Posted February 17, 2009 at 6:33 pm | Permalink

    I try not to whine there too much, but thanks for the reminders!~

    • Posted February 17, 2009 at 6:57 pm | Permalink

      :)

      I think we all whine some. I don’t think that’s a crime. I think it’s the people who are more likely to whine than ever say anything positive, more likely to find a negative than just go “them’s the breaks”, that irk me.

      Eradicating ALL whining would be a ridiculous goal for anyone, though I’m sure a few perfect goodie-two-shoe types have managed it. Fuck if I ever will, though. Ha. :)

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