One of my regulars sent me an email a dog’s age ago, asking for me to take on the subject of penis enhancement. He didn’t ask for information about the procedures, but commented that:
The more I talk with guys either from my gym or circle of friends the more I have found out that some really would seriously consider undergoing surgery if it meant a larger penis. Perhaps you can provide a female-centric view on these procedures as well as any experiences you have had with men who have underwent procedures.
Well. There’s a can of worms, isn’t it? First of all, I know no men who’ve experienced such a procedure. If you have, and you want to go on the record, feel free to email me. (See sidebar for the address.)
There’s a couple cliches we’ve all heard:
“Size does matter.”
“It’s not how big it is, but how he uses it.”
I wouldn’t want any larger than 8 inches, and that’s a personal preference. Some chicks want guys who are as big as they can get, and other chicks want small men. Enter another cliche: It takes all kinds.
The last guy I was with before this one was guilty of false advertising. This is where it’s probably good to point out that *I* check out a man’s package as soon as the opportunity presents itself. I doubt I’m a minority, as I think that most women have done this.
There’s nothing like a good pair of jeans to give you an idea of what the future holds. That said, I’m also aware that a number of guys are “growers” not “show-ers,” so I don’t let my first impression colour my opinion… just my anticipation.
This dude, the false-advertising guy, seemed to have a nice package. A really nice package, which was somewhat surprising considering the well-known rumour about Asian men and their offerings. I saw him wander off to the washroom after we had begun to fool around, and when he returned, he had something in his back jeans pocket and his “package” seemed considerably less… um, inspiring.
In the end, “hard” (a misnomer in itself), the guy was four-inches long. In his back pocket? Socks.
If you’re the kind of guy who will stuff socks down his cock to “impress” a date, let me save you the hassle. You’re so gonna get busted. If she doesn’t laugh you out of the bedroom, you can expect to never hear from her again. Fact is, if you have a small cock, that’s just how it goes. Don’t build shit up or pretend to be more man than you are, because it always gets outted. (For this same reason, I think chicks are fools to wear padded bras.) And if you thought your situation was embarrassing before such antics, think again.
But it’s still not something guys should be sweating as much as they do.
There are chicks called “teeny queens” who are looking for small men. They just prefer that. There are “size queens” who think anything less than 6” is unthinkable. Then there are the rest of us. The ones who love what you do with your cock, no matter what size it is, so long as it’s eager to play with us, and you’re talented at what you do.
There are chicks who will walk from a guy because of his dick — too much, too little, too unenthused, whatever. Hell, I’ve known chicks who’ve left men because they were too endowed. I knew one chick who was almost in love with a guy when she discovered how large he was erect. She never let him enter her, and she walked from the relationship because she was too scared to allow him to penetrate. It broke her heart to do it, but there’s some things some chicks won’t allow.
There are men who have actually chosen to reduce their cock size because they’ve experienced that one time too many. (I don’t endorse that site, but am simply providing anecdotal evidence.)
Average size, I’m told, is five to seven inches. Most men I’ve been with have been in that range, and this man (and the last one) are the first who have been outside that range. Have I ever wanted a larger guy before now? No, actually.
What’s another reason a lot of chicks like average-sized guys? Well, if giving head’s something you want us doing, it’s more likely to happen more often when you’re average-sized — or at least happen for longer. Getting a large cock in a mouth can be a pretty challenging thing, and for any chicks with jaw disorders or neck problems, it can be daunting and painful.
Finally, another plus to not getting an overly enhanced penis? Anal. If you want your lover to try anal for the first time, she’ll be less likely to do it if you have a large cock. Face it, that’s just a little freaky for some of us chicks.
This fear, this paranoia men have about their cock sizes is really just the Cosmos’ way of getting even with them for all the fucked-up shit women think about themselves: Is my ass too big? Is my hair too flat? Are my breasts weird? Does my vagina taste funny?
Personally, I’m sick and fucking tired of this new trend we’re seeing in our society, inspired by Brazil, and perfected by Barbie of Beverly Hills, in which everyone is trying to surgically correct their “flaws.” So, the best “you” that you can muster is a certain “someone” you’ve paid thousands of dollars to create under a scalpel and too-bright lighting? Whatever gets you to sleep at night, baby.
If you can’t handle who you are, and you can’t get past what you are, then maybe, yeah, you need to do something about it. But before you let a perceived problem become a real problem, maybe you’d better check the facts. The facts tell you that the majority of women are satisfied by their man’s cock size, that the majority of them don’t want anything that can’t be solved by a cock ring or some Kegel exercises. (For more on those topics, you can read a posting I did not so long ago on NYHotties and another I did here.)
Said simply, knowing what to do with your tongue, what to say, how to touch her, how to finger her, how to do all those things that add up to a wonderful night in will almost always put her in her happy place, whether you’re “average” or not, and will save you lots of bucks, grief, and maybe even a little pain.
In short? Get over yourself, boys. It’s not all about your cock.
OM effing G, I love your site. I just popped over here from some ancient comment left on my site that I hadn’t ever clicked the link to (totally my loss!). After reading a little, I went back to the beginning and started there. Now, I am hooked! Now, maybe I am just tired, but I can’t seem to find the third installment of the “J.” story! Not fair chicka!
I will be back and I will have to link you!
~K
Tee hee. Thanks for all the good stuff.
I know, I suck about the missing conclusion of J. I promise, ONE DAY it will come.
Amen, Sista!
Size really doesn’t matter if you have all the other good stuff down to a science. Best to include ‘cuddle’ time before and after. Then, scoot over, I’ll need a nap! And no snugglin’ during nap time. I need my space!
Cutie
once again, you nail it.
i’ve always said that it’s the quality, not the quantity, that counts.
that, and a talented tongue 😉
Oh, I guess I could respond to the actual question huh? lol
I have only been with one guy where size was an issue… rather, I should say “lack” of size.
The oral was awesome, but he couldn’t get past the fact that he couldn’t get me to climax during intercourse.
For the most part, the guys that are considered average do fine by me 😉
~K
Average is perfect. If it’s too wide to fit well in my mouth, though, I’m probably not going to have sex with him. Because man, there’s certainly such a thing as too much girth. And, ow. I won’t make that mistake again. Holy soreness, Batman!
Cutie — Some of us like to cuddle into naptime, though. 😛 I like to breakaway as I fall asleep, but it just happens subconsciously, without effort.
Laurie — Exactly. This is what I’m saying. 🙂
Kate — That’s a topic I plan to write about sometime, chicks not climaxing through penetration alone. When will men LEARN that a large portion of women, if not a sizeable majority, cannot climax through intercourse by itself? Jesus. Don’t have a COMPLEX about it. Just help us! Sigh. Next rant, maybe.
Girl — Yes, a good guide — too wide for your mouth? Probably too wide, period. Having sex with a larger guy always hurts, and some chicks like it, but most of us just want the nice pain, not that.
Sigh… and once again, the boys hold back on comments. Come on, guys. Lemme have it. Am I insensitive? Do you agree? Are you happy to know most chicks just don’t care? ‘sup?
Ok (twist my arm), I have to say that I was very insecure about my seemingly meager six inches until reading this post and accompanying comment section. It was no use telling me personally what you guys have said, as I figured whoever was saying it was just being nice and trying to protect my feelings. I mean, come on… six inches? I figured I was just vanilla. Average. “Cute” or “a nice size”. Nothing to write home about. etc.
This comment string being like a glimpse into an inside chat among girlfriends, my worries have been set to rest. From a humble guy who is just about to hit the social scene, only now with a touch more confidence, I give many many thanks. 🙂
Six inches is perfect. It’s great. If you’re 1-1.5 inches wide, that’s good, better if it’s 1.5, or maybe even 2, but some chicks would balk at anything 2+ inches in width.
Seriously, no frets there! It’s amazing how many guys are unjustly insecure about that. Strange world.
Yes boys, there is such a thing as TOO BIG. Too big or too wide limits the kink, IMO.
I enjoy a good 6 or 7 inches and 1-1.5 inches wide. I think that GirlInCamoflauge said it best: If it’s too big for my mouth, it’s not goin’ anyplace else, thanks.
More observations from the Y chromosome corner:
The classic argument goes: If size doesn’t matter, why are dildos so large? I think that having a small penis is on par with having a really annoying laugh. It’s forgivable, but as long as it doesn’t get in the way of anything it’s not going to break the relationship. And that’s just the honest truth. I’m sure women’s preferences differ from person to person, but on the whole I’d say most ladies would like a guy who can properly fill them up.
Personally, I’d have to say I’m at the small end of average. This, however, has never hampered my ability to please a lover. And though the lady I’m with now would probably benefit from an increase in size, I don’t expect to hear any complaints. Because sex is more than just “getting pounded like a cheap steak” (although that can be fun too). It’s about enjoying yourself and causing someone else to enjoy themselves as well.
Mostly it comes down to media influence. There’s a lot of pressure on men to live up to this “perfect standard” of a porn star. And there’s so much bad porn out there, it turns my stomach. Fake men, fake women, fake orgasms, the whole wave smile bam-the-chick-is-on-her-knees thing that was ranted about earlier in this blog…
But I digress.
Most people do not have the self-awareness to be anything other than what the media tells them to be. In a lot of ways, men are expected to live up to this stereotype to a larger degree. “Manliness” is all about how to act, how to think, how to look, what to do, what to enjoy. Walk up to any random people on the street and ask them if something is “manly” and their answers will match almost perfectly. The notion is just that concrete. But not all of us are like that, and those of us that aren’t are the repressed minority.
I can’t imagine what it would be like to be a guy who buys into all that. It’s so antithetical to the way I think that it gives me a headache to even consider it. I say, take me or leave me. But chances are that if we get along to the point where we’re comfortable enough to take our clothes off, then neither one of us are going to be disappointed.
If more men started thinking for themselves, there would be a lot fewer unsatisfied women out there.
I’ve encountered both too big and too small. Average is better. Who the guy is is the most important criteria.
Better yet, spend less time worrying about the dimensions of your penis and concentrate on developing your technique with your tongue and hands. A penis is pretty much a one-trick pony and while it’s a very delightful trick, the manipulation thereof only guarantees your climax, not ours.
To the guys who think we should climax from intercourse alone (and I have but only with one partner – must have been a serendipitous combination of anatomical proportions and yes, he was average-sized), I have a suggestion for you. Get your pratner to rub only next to your penis and see how that works for you, okay? No direct stimulation, just all around it. That’s what intercourse does for us.
And that’s all I have to say about that!
D.
Of course, if he’s that worried, he could always marry a virgin. We’re in no position to complain.
I’ll start at the end and work my way back:
VIRGIN — He wasn’t worried. I don’t think he has concerns, but thought it would be a fun topic to discuss. And I think he’s very right!
ANON — One-trick pony, exactly. I think intercourse does a little more for me than that, though, when my lover’s skilled. I really love it when he brings a serious game to the bedroom. He just needs to be aware that either a) I won’t come from just that, b) he needs to use his hands too, and/or c) he needs to accept that I may not come, and for me, it’s not all about that result anyhow.
The guys who understand that shit are the keepers.
Now, for the opus from EMISSARY OF THE TWINS —
First off, DILDOS… Why? Because some chicks DO like that, AND because GAY MEN buy them! You dudes NEED to remember that gay men buy a lot of the sex toys supposedly aimed at chicks. When I was young and stupid, I bought this long, large dildo, thinking that was the right size to have. Couldn’t even insert the fucking thing. I still have it around, too, but it’s for cliteral stimulation — and laughs, really.
Yes, fuck the media. I hate ’em. I hate the plastic qualities they impose on us all. It’s really hurting all of our relationships, our self-esteems, and our ability to accept who and what we are. It’s so hard to find REAL people now, and it’s because we all think our reality ain’t cutting it. Too bad, really.
I think men are improving. I think they’re beginning to realize there’s more to life than their images, but it’s a slow dawning of brilliance. There’s a slow-changing mentality in the male world, but it’s not just their fault. It’s the man-of-the-minute trendy-man stereotype that comes with every new flavour-of-the-month. First, it’s Russell Crowe, the MAN’s man, then it’s Johnny Depp, the QUIRKY almost-metrosexual bohemian man, then it’s Jude Law, the somewhat-effeminate/seductive kind of borderline-gay man, and now it’s anyone’s fucking guess. We’ve gone from loving the fireman brute post-9/11 to embracing the Queer Eye urbanite metrosexual to wanting all of the above. For guys, I’m sure it’s been confusing.
Everyone talks about the new crisis of identity for today’s young woman, how she’s torn between wanting a relationship and a family and wanting a successful career, but men have as big a crisis of identity as any woman does.
On December 6th, it’s the 16th anniversary of the massacre at L’Ecole Polytechnique (I think) in Montreal where a man slaughtered 14 young women, all because he didn’t feel women should be allowed to go to engineering school and omit a guy like him from being eligible. I always thought, even then, that it was symptomatic of the changing nature of mens’ world.
As much as I’m a feminist, I really empathize with how drastically the male world has changed this century, and the confusion that must stem from thousands and thousands of years of patriarchal societal nurturing to this radical shift in power for women that has really only transpired over the last 100 years, but specifically during the last 40.
I think the changes have been awesome, great, but as a society, we’ve still got a lot of absorbing to do before everyone’s on an even keel. I think guys in my generation (late 20s, early 30s) are coping REALLY well with respecting womens’ strength while still trying to hang onto their own.
I don’t know how I got onto that tangent, but there it is. You’ve got a great sense of self, and that’s a really attractive quality in any person, and something I strive to keep alive daily. It’s amazing how hard it is to do sometimes, when the media rears its ugly head. All so very interesting.
I personally don’t think padded bras are false advertising. Chicken fillets, maybe, but padded bras? I wear different bras to complement different outfits – some days are plunging cleavage days, others are flatten and make-svelte days… none of it’s advertising, it’s all about how I want to look that day.
I agree with what you say about cock size, though.
Anyone up for random statistics? average length 5.78 inches width[around] 4.5 inches. and when it comes down to it 70% of all women cannot cum through intercourse alone. ahh the beifits of reserching sex to the wee hours of the morning.
Bottom line is to be comfortable with who you are, cause confidence will do more for you than a foot-long ever would.
and i’m very proud to say, that what i lack in size, and a general idea of what i’m doing. I make up for in premature ejaculation. So it may not be good, but at least it doesn’t last very long.
For the most part, right as she thinking “my god i wish this was over”. It is.
theres nothing like giving the ladies what they want.
Mango — depends on the pads. 🙂 Big pads, yeah, I think it’s false advertising. Heh. Average pads, no, not really.
Knatty — Well, hey, there’s that. Glad to see you won’t be having to wreck all that quality masturbation time by having chicks pounding down your door. 🙂
Knatty, you kill me. So… where are you in the premature department? I’m right at about 11 seconds, or three thrusts, whichever happens first. 🙂
I suspect that’s 4.5 inches CIRCUMFERENCE (not diameter – OW!)
Circumference, that’s not really that daunting. That’s about 1.5 inches wide. That’s *peachy* for someone like me, personally.
Hello… I think it’s great that you think that way about blokes. Good to hear that it doesn’t matter too much.. Ithought iwas on the small side.. but apparently not.
Too drunk to write much more at the moment, but thanks for the boost..
Would be helpful for all men to be made aware of these facts… If only people would communicate!!!
maybe i’ll find these pages again and have some interesting reading.. With any luck you’ll offer guys like me a cock assessment and I for one would read all the notes, revise, and do my best on you! 😉 XXX
Lord, I’m going upstairs to play with my boyfriend’s WELL above average penis and enjoy it’s length and girth. I wasn’t really a “size queen” or anything, but I can tell you that “too big” is not a problem with the right amount of foreplay and chemistry. And yes, some guys can have a big dick (if i told you measurements you wouldn’t believe me) AND be really good at everything else too. In fact, sometimes they understand the value of foreplay just as much (if not more) than the guys who are trying to make up for something.
Just sticking up for the big guys since average got all the play in this post. 🙂