Embracing the Angst

I’m in a bitter mood. I’m sure people would do well to enact a 10-foot radius around me today. Stay back, or be armed. Those are kind of your options for dealing with The Steff today.
It’ll probably die down in a couple hours. But I don’t give a shit. I don’t get bitter very often, and I’m not about to run around panicking because it’s happpened now. We get bitter. Emotions are a wild ride. Fight it at your peril.
Or be like me, and take it lying down.
It passes quickly this way. I snap at a few people, let the ride wind down, and while I do, I do the things I know snap me out of moods — drinking more water, listening to a little music, getting something accomplished — but until it passes, I’m there with it.
The psychiatric industry would have you think I’m a defeatist. The happy-shiny people would have you think I’m defective. The scaredycats would have you think I’m depressive.
I’m none of the above. I’m a girl who knows my emotions are a part of me, and most of them are valid and understandable reactions to the realities around me at any given time.
Am I as perfectly mentally stable as I could be? Am I an unshakable force? Will I find every port in every storm?
Nah. Probably not. I have hormones. Worse, I have an active imagination. Still worse, I’m keen on both psychology and philosophy.
Like it or loathe it, I’m on the “examined life” train until my dying day, and it’ll probably always involve topsy-turvy emotions. Because one has to know the value and meaning of things for their impact to truly be felt, and I think I understand value and meaning in much of life.
I don’t mind that these emotions of mine are part of the price I pay for being a smarty-pants overthinker girl with a big heart.
If you’re really going to live life, love it, experience it, and be in it, you can’t fault the reality that you’re going to FEEL it, too. That’s the price you pay for being present. Just realize it can be shook and moved on from, too, once you’ve ridden it for a spell.
Give in, then get on with it, right?
Speaking of, time to share my joy with my coworkers. These are the days I love that my job means sitting with headphones on and NOT talking to people.

4 thoughts on “Embracing the Angst

  1. Kat

    What other choices do you have? Bottling up anger and bitterness just creates this horrible grog in a pressure cooker and it will be really ugly once that explodes.
    Indeed, we all get angry. I cannot justify taking my anger out on someone else so my solution is to isolate or distance myself from people I love for as long as the angst wave lasts. None of them should get blasted by me for something they aint got shit to do with.
    So, yeah, good idea. There is a happy medium to dealing with having angst or anger. Im a relatively happy person but just like you shouldnt live your life being sad all the time, you shouldnt live your life being happy all the time. We need the downs to remember how good the ups are and how rewarding it is to achieve happiness.

  2. richfinck

    I wish all people had this under control as you seem to have. Keep up the good work, I love to read your posts.

  3. Coach T.I.A

    “””The psychiatric industry would have you think I’m a defeatist. The happy-shiny people would have you think I’m defective. The scaredycats would have you think I’m depressive.””””
    Not at all! I fully believe that that only way out of a funk is through it. Emotions are our barometer, they tell us when something is out of whack.
    Every single person on earth goes through ups and downs and the healthiest thing to do would be to acknowledge and accept the way one is feeling.
    It’s human to get mad, sad, bad and everything else! When I’m down, I stay with it and don’t fight it. Because what you resist, persists and will only come back 10fold in time. So I take it easy for a while and just be with my mood.
    Then I’ll start doing one little thing that might make me feel a bit better. And then one more. And so on.
    You’ve SO got it!! MWah
    Coach T.I.A’s last blog post..Detox Your Body, Thoughts and Life

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