Category Archives: weight loss

Hanging Up on Hang-ups

Funny how we get so hung up on our hang-ups we sometimes don’t even notice when they’ve disappeared.*
I was fucking floored Thursday night when I realized the varicose veins I’d been loathing for the last year had suddenly vanished in the last couple months, thanks to my awesome new fitness regime. Poof, gone.
Ironically, I’d already bought some spring clothes last month — and no shorts shorter than knee-length. For what mighta been something that didn’t even need hiding. Silly, silly.
It makes me wonder how often we get stuck in our insecurities, fears, loathings, all out of habit, rather than reality. Is it as bad as we fear? Are we merely choosing to dwell in shadows rather than turn the light on and see what we’re really judging? Continue reading →

Manufacturing Self

Should be rushing out the door, instead I found myself trying on a variety of clothes.
Tonight, the wardrobe-beefing-up continues with a visit to yet another couple department stores. Old Navy and its ilk can wait till the weekend sometime.
I’m still trying to figure out my new image, and new styles I can now wear that I never could before. For instance, did you know I had a waist? I certainly didn’t. I’m getting all hourglassy. The born-again Christians should try their shit on me now, ‘cos right this minute I’m a fuckin’ believer, baby. Continue reading →

A Moment of Smuggery* If You Please

I’ve noticed in the last week or so that my face is changing again, getting more definition. Tonight I went clothes-shopping. My Visa card says “See photo ID” on the back for verification, and now and again people actually ask. So, she looks at it, then looks at me, goes “Wait. Is that even you?”
Continue reading →

In Vino Veritas: I Fucking Rocked It

I had wanted to post this on Monday morning, having written it Sunday morning, but was having issues with getting footnoting working with this template of mine. And since the footnotes are where all the “funny” is in this posting, I wanted them working. Here you go! Finally.

It’s 5:05am. I’m not really drunk anymore, but with any luck I’ll be tipsy in a few. 1 This is a mighty big sunrise glass of wine I’ve poured, and there’s another to go.
Insomnia. Staring at a black ceiling. Mind whirling in a million directions — boys and summer and bikes and money and–and–and– 2
Continue reading →

Existential Excavating: What Made Me What I Was

The hardest part of losing weight, I’m finding, is the challenge of identity.
Being fat isn’t just something that happens over the course of a month. Being fat, becoming as fat as I ever got, took me 25 years exactly. 25 years of daily contributing to an obviously ever-growing problem.
From an eight-year-old spending a summer with an unlimited flow of Mountain Dew and Pepsi at my aunt’s for the first time, I began the journey of Becoming Fat. Continue reading →

So, How'd I Lose 70 Pounds? MY Weight-Loss Secret.

THIS POSTING’S DEDICATED TO ANYONE WHO THINKS THEY’RE STUCK BEING FAT. It’s not all hand-holding and gentle. I cut through the bullshit. You want your reality check? Start here. Oh, and I’m not selling a fuckin’ thing. I’m just trying to help you do what I’ve done, because it’s WORTH it.
I get a lot of people asking me how I lost my weight. Like there’s some magical store you can walk into, point, and say, “I know, I’ll do it THAT way.”
After a lifetime of being fat, trying shit, and finally figuring it out, you know what I think? There’s only one way to lose weight. Continue reading →

The Desire to be Spent

It’s before 7 on a Saturday morning. The naive plan was, I’d get up and go swimming. I’m up. My body tells me I’m a fucking fool. Sleep, it says.
So, I’m going to. I’ll go back to bed in a few. And I’m all right with that.
The reality is, though, that I’m starting to realize between last night and today, just how much this not-working-out thing is killing and deadening my soul.
It’s worse than not getting laid. Far, far worse. Continue reading →

My Own Private Dichotomy

Fear is not my friend. I don’t care what the bookstore’s self-help section says.
Fear is a bitch. A mean, driven bitch.
I am not a fan of fear.
I bought that book. Twice. Feel The Fear and Do It Anyways. Sometimes I do it anyways. But I always feel the fear. Ever-present, always-niggling fear.
Fortunately I know that I’m apparently invincible. Continue reading →

In Vino Veritas: Of Bananas And Hotties

I’m drunkish. I feel obligated to write for you. But you’ll take obligated, won’t you? Yeah, that’s human nature.
Stringing thoughts together might be a challenge. But. It’s not like I get graded on this, right?
It’s been a weird day. I’ll get into that in a minute, but you need the prelude first.
I was up at 5, for starters. Oh, what a horrid thing that is. Then I weighed myself. Down 3 pounds this week. Heh, I’m sure I’m rectifying that terrible inconvenience tonight, though. Continue reading →