Monthly Archives: August 2005

Sexual Q& A: Water, Anyone?

A lovely female reader emailed me and asked me to keep her anonymous, but wanted to know the truth behind sex in the water. Does it enhance the experience?
STEFF RESPONDS:
I don’t know. I’ve never really gone there. I’ve had guys crash my bath and the feeble attempts at sex were laughable, since the tubs have always been too small. I’ve never had a decent sized tub, so why bother with a tub?
I mean, seriously, the last thing I need is my head knocking against a tile wall and my neck ramming against the stupid lip of the tub. Ergo, stay the fuck out and let me play with myself. I have plans for you later. Behave, and you’ll get your reward.
Sex in the shower, I’m so there. Lather me up and watch me go.
But sex in a body of water (ocean, lake, pond) has never been opportune, and sex in a pool, well, if that opportunity arises, I’m in like you wouldn’t believe.
But in wondering about the question, I thought I’d do some research.
Now, before we go further, let this be known: there are a lot of condom-integrity issues with sex in the water. Obviously we want to play safe. But if you’re in a safe, committed relationship where you’re both negative, those issues clearly won’t matter to you. There are other points below that will be relevant to you, too, though, so please read on.
It goes without saying, colder water temperatures are not conducive to stiffies staying stiff. You might as well just bid the hard-on goodbye, unless he’s some iron man who washes with Cheer for better cold-water performance or something.
Another problem is that of vaginal lubrication. You’ll be needing to search out a non-water soluble lube in order to do your aquatics routine, and lube will certainly be necessary, regardless of whether you require it in your regular sexual antics. A single bout of playing with your clit in the tub will prove that to you. (One small part of why I like oil baths. Mostly, it’s to have nice skin, of course.)
But you can’t do the oil-in-water during safe sex since the oil will seriously compromise your condom, possibly causing it to tear or break.
All right, back to the drawing board. What next, then?
Well, let’s say you’ve found yourself a wonderful non-soluble lube and you’re good to go exploring in, say, a swimming pool. Great! You’ve got the condoms, some nice umbrella-laden bevvies, and it’s game on.
Or is it? By hopping in that there pool, you’ve effectively stripped the condom’s spermicidal properties. Damn it! Foiled again. Even if the spermicide’s not a big concern for you, there’s the very increased likelihood of the condom either slipping off or ripping, again because of submersion and also the chlorination.
But I’ve saved the worst for last. Let’s say it’s a blissfully warm summer’s eve and there’s the smell of honeysuckle dancing in the air and a full moon, and no one but no one is by the beach this evening. You get that creative notion of sex in the water, and why not? No one’s around, life is quiet. Opportunity’s knocking.
Except for that small problem of parasites, bacteria, and organisms that are thriving in the water. Swimming is fine, but the whole forceful act of sex ensures that these micro-organisms that would normally never find their way up the vaginal tract will not only enter it, but will be thrust high up it, leading to any one of an array of vaginal infections.
(And those probabilities increase drastically in lakes and ponds, girlies.)
It sounded like such a good idea, didn’t it? Sadly, no.
So, really, if you’ve got a nice big soaker tub and you’re on the pill and you know you’re in a safe relationship, I say have at ‘er. If it’s a casual relationship and you don‘t mind rolling the dice with a less effective condom, then that’s great, too.
Otherwise, you might want to think twice.
As for enhancing the experience itself, let’s ask the rest of the school kids since my experiences could only be summed up as “feeble” and “headache-inducing.” Anyone able to testify on this? I’m particularly interested in hearing from women since they’re the ones who’ll be getting the raw end of the deal with the lube issues. What say you, kids? Is the aquatic givin’ gettin’ good?

Sexual Q & A: Threesomes


Tonight’s topic? Menage a trois.
HERMES ASKS: Threesomes?

STEFF ANSWERS:
Oh, my. I’ve never really given threesomes a lot of thought. No guy I’ve been with has ever brought the topic up or asked if I’d be willing. So, I’m going to just run with my train of thought here. Bear with me.
So, have I? No.
Would I? I think so. Depends on the extra wheel.
The “extra wheel” stipulation brings us to the dilemma of two guys versus two girls… Which brings us firstly to the dilemma of anal.
I’ve done anal, not just once, and didn’t enjoy it (painful, awkward). Maybe it was the guy, I don’t know. I’d probably try it again in the future since my attitude towards things has been expanding quite a bit in the last year or so, if the right partner came along. I stress the latter. (It’s also a size-dependent issue, if you get my drift.)
But going at it with two guys would probably be better suited if I was a fan of anal. Given that I’m not, I don’t think I’d go that way. I once thought I’d be into two guys. I’m not sure when that shift occurred, but it did, and now I think otherwise, and have for a while now.
I think part of it might be the occasional male attitude towards sex. The fuck-me-hard, fuck-me-now, let-me-access-all-of-you bullshit that can wear thin. I’m not that kinda girl, not in plural, anyhow.
I have seldom ever heard a male account of a two-guys-one-gal threesome that didn’t sound like it belonged in some pulp porn movie. It always winds up sounding like she’s some whore who got fucked silly. Whatever turns your crank. It don’t turn mine.
I’m not orgiastic about sex. I’m passionate, driven, curious, sensual, open, creative, and exploratory, and though I can be a dirty girl, it’s not a defining characteristic of mine. I’m more mischevious, devilish, and playful than I am filthy, though I can talk dirty with the best of ’em (and do).
I haven’t come to that point where I can reconcile with the idea of whoring myself in any kind of capacity that leaves me wishing I’d had more self-respect the next day. Maybe I will be able to reconcile that one day, but I’m not holding my breath.
So, for me, sex is very passionate, very emotional, very sensual, and not something I usually take lightly, which is why I’m not promiscuous. When I have sex, I am all there, all the time, and the notion of two guys fighting for my attention SHOULD excite me, but it perplexes me. I can’t shut off my laserlight focus that I bring to the bed. I can’t divide that between two men, and I’m pretty sure the one guy who gets to receive my affections probably doesn’t want me to, knowing what he’s in for.
Yeah, I just can’t identify with two guys fucking me on one night. It just doesn’t do anything for me. Right now, anyhow. “As far as I know.” And this is going on the stereotypical experience, as I described above.
HOWEVER… if I had all creative control? If I could orchestrate the night? If what I said went? If my boundaries were understood and respected? If I trusted both men implicitly? If it was a sensual experience and not just a sweaty fuckfest?
That could well be an entirely different scenario since I’m a VERY situation-specific kinda gal. Everything depends on the night, the mood, my edge or lack thereof. I’m known to be very, very, very spontaneous and mood-driven, and even my friends of 15 years will tell you I constantly surprise them. With me, you never know.
The right extra guy might be something I can’t pass up. I’m too fucking smart and too old to dismiss something out of hand without knowing the particulars. I mean, if I was in a relationship and J. passed me on the street, or B. or E. or J2 or one of the other great lovers I’ve had, I’d love to bring him home for a night of fun and games with a present lover, because I’d trust them and they would know where my boundaries lay. I guess that would be the breaking/making point.
Bringing a chick into the equation, yeah, actually, I’d be totally down with that. Tomorrow. Seriously. I’d be awkward and nervous at first, but I’m confident I’d overcome that quickly with the right duo. Women have a different mentality about sex — or the ones I know, do. But it would depend on the chick, and I’m sorta specific about what kinda girl would get me riled.
As I posted recently, I’ve become very interested in having a female explore me, especially orally, and I’d be interested in a limited exploration in return. Honestly, I’d be kinda into having the guy watch her going down on me. That would really, really get me hot. The sex that would follow would probably be pretty incredible. God, the idea of it right now gets me bothered just thinking of it.
Hmm. Let me take a moment longer to think of that. Lovely. Nice. Yes, that I’d well be into. Sigh. Yep. Mm.
So, then, what do I really think of threesomes? (shrug) I don’t know. I’m on the fence. It can be an exciting diversion in a relationship, I’m sure. I wouldn’t ever want them to be a dominating aspect of my relationships. I love the part of sex where it’s all about exploring with my partner. My partner. Every now and then, to shake things up? Cool.
Now ask me what I think of swinging.
Did I answer that oh-so-very-vague question well enough for you, H?
And what do you folks have to say on the topic of threesomes?
Have you? Would you? What turns you on about it? What turns you off? When would be the right time? Is it the sign of things going awry in a serious, committed relationship? Can you in fact be seriously committed yet bring in outside sex for kicks without compromising the future of your relationship? Has it happened to you where you brought a third party in and had the relationship tank as a result?

Sexual Q & A: How Can I Spice Things Up?

ANONYMOUS ASKS: What’s a girl to do when her new boyfriend is VERY conservative and she wants to shake things up? Suggestions? This guy is NOT experienced but he’s really adorable.
STEFF ANSWERS: Keeping in mind that conservative attitudes about sex are usually resulting from ignorance or fear, I think you gotta proceed slowly.
If this were me, I’d probably proceed in any one of a few different ways. In fact, I’d recommend trying them all. Education shouldn’t happen in one fell swoop, neither should sexual expansion. Slow, graduated learning will make it more meaningful for both of you, if that’s what you’re after.
1) I might write him a very naughty, explicit letter detailing a few things I’d like to do to him. When he’s leaving one morning/night, put it in his wallet or something like that, so he finds it at an unexpected time and place. When it’s out of the blue and he’s alone with time to process things, and not in front of you, it may leave him more open to suggestion. Plus, if you’re arousing enough on the page, he might just find himself in a situation where he wishes you were around to aid with relief. (This could possibly backfire, too, so you need to be careful how far you go on the page. Subtly alluding to things could be as big a turn-on as being explicit, depending on your man.)
2) I suggest just taking him by surprise in bed. If he’s never done bondage, for example, maybe don’t talk to him about it in advance if you believe he’ll cringe. While you’re on top, simply playfully pin his arms over his head and loosely put a pair of nylons or something else that you’ve got conspicuously handy around his wrists, so he can get out if he likes, and proceed as you like. So, make it the illusion of bondage instead of the real thing, to take the fear out of the experience. (I wouldn’t recommend blindfolding with bondage at the same time if he’s nervous. It can be pretty overwhelming when you’re knew to it, speaking from experience here. ‘course, I fell in love with the feeling, but still, a lot to process.)
3) Another way to proceed is to just introduce one small new thing per session. Bring in food one time. Start off with a massage and oral another time. Try nailing him publically in a forest or something sometime. Vary the experience one teensy way each time until you’ve acquired a kaleidoscope of shared experiences. Then you’ll get to pick and choose.
4) Something else to try might be something like 101 Romantic Nights (a sex game where you roll the dice and refer to a book to see what your tasks for the evening are) or something similar, where you’re told what to do next through a book or something. There are other books, like 101 Grreat Nights of Romance, that come with sealed pages and just a tease as to what might lie ahead. You break the seal on the page to get the instructions for the evening, and you do what you’re told. They’re pretty tame, by and large, but they’re definitely an introduction to thinking outside the box when you’re a conservative lover, plus the creativity included might be pleasantly surprising for him, but the instructions and tips might take some pressure of of him when it comes to performing. But there are also a lot of inventive little role-playing antics and such, with a list of what you might require for the evening — and some of these may be new to experienced lovers, too.
5) It may well be that he’s intimidated by your experience. Bring the issue up casually, in a non-threatening way, when you’re having a quiet night on the sofa, watching a movie. Discuss the intimidation and tell him you can understand it if he feels that way, but you don’t want him feeling it anymore, and ask what you can do to help make it go away. You can ask him to design a night that will be comfortable for him, but he may feel pressured as a result, so I don’t really recommend that.
I think a lot of chicks tend to forget that, when it comes to sex, a lot of pressure, most of it (if not all), is on the guy. Their plumbing needs to be working, their size needs to be adequate, their skills are the ones that dominate the experience… an inexperienced guy with an experienced chick probably has a whole lot of issues to deal with, and being relatively gentle yet provocative is the only way to proceed if he’s timid.
6) Finally, maybe you can just watch a movie with a great sex scene in it, like the infamous refrigerator scene in 9 1/2 Weeks, and teasingly suggest you should do that, or any other sex scene you’ve enjoyed cinematically. I’m talking films, not porn. I don’t think porn’s the way to go when you’re easing someone in, since the expectations could seem unrealistic. But after you’ve said, “hey, that looks like fun, could we try that?” take him by surprise and go down on him.
Personally, all of my sexual experimentation came as a result of conversations that got the ball rolling. But I’m an imaginative and visual gal, so maybe it impacted me more that way.
In short? Again, be provocative but gentle. If he seems to be getting intimidated, then address it in a non-judgmental way. Let him know you want to teach him, that it’s important to you to show him just how good you can make him feel in every single way. You can bring dominance into the equation after you’re both on level ground. Have fun getting there. 😉
Do my male readers have any suggestions for Miss Anonymous, or feedback on mine?

The Good Girl's Guide to Giving GREAT Head Pt. 2

celtic-2

When we last left off, I was recapping the wonders of the Creamsicle move. Trusty, classic, and effective. Here are the remaining fave moves of mine. Of course, you can mix’n’match all the moves and shake them up, and you can think outside the box and bring in other techniques. There’s really only one no-no in oral — don’t hurt ’em (unless they’re into that).
So, without further ado, the rest of the Good Girl’s Guide to Giving Great Head.

_________

Sideways: Wrap your lips around his shaft sideways. If you don’t have an image as to how this works, then try sucking on the side of your thumb. Your lips sit on the top and bottom of the cock, and with your lips tucked around your teeth, you’re going to use jaw pressure to clamp up and down on his cock (firm, but not too hard, so check with your man during the process if it’s not obvious how he’s responding) while you travel outward to the tip, all the while sucking and tonguing him.

Now’s a good time to mention it. Tongues, the most wonderful muscle both sexes share. That’s right, it’s a muscle. Flex it, baby. The more you use it, the stronger it’ll be. It can contribute a lot to a guy’s oral experience, too, expecially when you’re throwing added pressure and sensations into the mix. Be conscious of your tongue and its abilities, and you’ll see results.

Ballsy, Baby: Now and then you have to take his balls in your mouth and tongue them against your palate, being careful with your teeth. Suck and slurp the bad boys, and you’ll get him groaning, especially if you’re tugging on his shaft simultaneously.
Super-Thighs Him: Often, and I mean often, fall away to his inner thighs and bite, nibble, suck, and lick him as your hands keep him entertained, rubbing his prostate, stroking him, or maybe even just clutching his ass hard or teasing it with a finger as you continue devouring everything but his cock.
The Moist Interlude: Now and then to really torture him you can mount him without letting him enter you, just in between all the oral escapades. This is particularly fun when you have him absolutely at your mercy and tied up. The trick is, you have to be wet for him. Quite. Sopping. If you’re doing all of this the right way and you’re watching his reactions, I guarantee you will be, but if necessary, as you’re sucking his cock, start rubbing your clit — make sure you tell him that it has you so hot you’ve got to touch yourself — and then mount him after you’re wet. Grind him gently as you lean in and nibble his neck, his earlobes, his nipples, or kiss him, whatever it is you know gets him hotter. And grind, baby, grind. Just a little.
Apres Moist: Having taunted him, you want to slide your body down his, remembering that you’re wet and while you may or may not enjoy having cum all over you, he almost certainly does since your wetness correlates, in his mind, with how much you want to fuck him. So, as you’re sliding down, so too will evidence of your arousal, how hot you’re getting just while getting him hot. This alone will get his mind into overdrive (especially if he’s blindfolded) never mind the fact that you’re licking, nibbling, and sucking your way down to his cock, which you’re now stroking hard but slow. If you’re really evil, you’ll “accidentally” get his cock hung up on your vagina as you’re sliding down him. Stay there and try to drive him a little harder against you before you dismount, and if you’ve done this, make him wait an agonizing moment as you don’t touch him at all (on purpose, but you don’t have to let him know that — but I would, since I love the tease) as you reposition yourself to resume the oral.
The Taste-Tester: I’ve often dribbled chocolate syrup over a blindfolded lover’s cock and then hungrily licked and sucked it off as messily and greedily as I could before kissing him hard on his mouth with my mouth still tasting of both chocolate and him, so he knows what I’ve done. I’ve had amazing results with this, particularly when in the middle of an epic BJ. It’s one of those intense interludes that immediately heightens, rather than slackens his pleasure. It also gives you a change of pace and a nice taste sensation, plus the sugar rush helps you carry on your epic work. Now, honey works well, too, so long as it’s something you gotta work to get it all off of him, though. Sticky and sweet. Even jelly or jam is interesting, if that’s your kinda thing. The shock of cold might cause him to recoil a little, but your mouth will warm him up and make him grow again.

Props Assignment

A feather, an ice cube, some velvet, a dangling tassle, and other fun little objects can go a long way to surprising him with delight when he’s blindfolded during a BJ. I once had an interesting time wrapping a sheet of cotton batting around a guy’s cock and just lightly dragged it up and down against his rigid shaft. He was blindfolded and absolutely baffled as to what I was doing, but began shuddering with each light surfacing drag of the batting. Use your imagination when you’re looking through cupboards, make a note of things that could play well in the bedroom (or wherever you like to fuck.)
Tease him often with the props between doses of oral delivery.
Don’t forget, any time he might deflate a little, you’re going to ensure you reverse that immediately. Keep him as hard as you can throughout.

Nutshell.

Remember, variety, no one thing for too long. Go from one technique to another and back again repeatedly, and see what that does. Then change up the mix to something completely different — and change speeds, from slow to fast, and pressures, from soft to hard to barely there.
There are a myriad of other little techniques one can use, given that every cock-owner has different fondnesses. Ask him what he loves during oral. Ask him if there’s anything you can do to make him find a happier place. And do that for him. Asking “Do you like that, baby?” can be as much of a turn-on as anything, especially when you really get to the truth of what’s exciting him.

Whew! A Breather?

Never forget the power of your breath. Tired? Of course you are. Oral’s hard work. Take a breather, literally. Hover over his cock, still holding the shaft firmly, and just breathe heavily on his wet, hard tip and shaft as you catch your breath. I’ve actually seen cocks get harder and longer by just breathing on them for a full minute. Gasp, let him see how worn-out you are from servicing him..
Most of the time, this will even bring an added emotional element into the equation when he knows you’re shoring up reserves to go at him again. It’s a strangely powerful moment, just being there, quietly hovering, breathing.
In my experience, how it plays out is that he knows my head is right there… so close, yet so far, and the anticipation is surprisingly powerful — for both he and I. I’ll often faintly trace a fingernail up his length as I tease him with my breath, and it’s astonishingly effective considering the lack of other stimulus.
(Boys, this has worked well on me, too, but I can’t speak for all women. Girls?)

Sticking points.

A lot of fuss gets made over swallowing or facials or what have you. Where do I stand? I have swallowed, and though I’ve often done it, not always, and not even usually. It depends on the taste of his cum and depends on the man in question. Some guys it’s not a problems, others, yes, problem. Facial? Yeah, I could handle it. But I don’t. I find it denigrating, so I just duck away. It would depend on the man and the occasion.
I don’t think chicks should be expected to swallow. If you don’t want to, don’t, and don’t apologize for it. That’s simply your line and it has to be respected. Sucking a guy to the edge if orgasm and finishing him by handjob or by mounting him and finishing the old-fashioned way isn’t copping out.
If he’s really hung up on you swallowing, then tell him to change his diet so his cum’s sweeter. It’s a known fact that vegetarians have better-tasting cum. Beef and other foods drastically affect the taste. Some say parsley will sweeten the pot. But realistically, is he going to go to that extreme? Probably not. Yet he wants you to swallow? Well, will he swallow his own? Like one of my lovely readers says, if a guy expects it of you, he better be willing to do the same.
Like I say, sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. Usually, I don’t. I’ve never, ever had a complaint. Just the opposite. The guy who gasped thanking me for three minutes? Swallowed some, but put the rest all over his body as I sucked, nibbled, and licked my way back up to his face, and he didn’t mind a damned bit.
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All you really need to know about me is I get the job done. Every time. And with these tricks and dedication, so will you.
Have fun, take your time, and remember: Details. The devil’s in the details.

The Good Girl's Guide to Giving GREAT Head Pt. 1

04

I’m a perfectionist. This has served me well in many areas of my life, say, at work or in the kitchen. Or, as it happens, in the bedroom.
I like to think of oral sex as a fine art. I think it’s the most sensual, supposedly selfless thing you can do for a lover.
Now, I say “supposedly selfless,” because who’s kidding who? If you’re already in a good relationship, throwing great oral into the equation makes it sexual utopia. It’s the final touch. Then they owe you. You know as well as I do, you’re keeping score. We all do.
When it comes to oral, I owe everything I’ve learned to Sex Tips for Straight Ladies from a Gay Man. The first time I used all the tips in that book — and let me tell you, when I read, I absorb information like a sponge, my friends — the guy was gasping his thanks for three full minutes afterwards, no exaggeration.
It’s not just knowing the moves, though. That’s half the battle. It’s really all about understanding your lover’s body language. That twitch, that gasp, that shudder, when their thigh muscles tighten or their ass clenches while they inhale sharply… all these little signs will give you clues as to what’s working… and what’s working better.
You don’t have to talk during the process but your lover should always emit little vocal cues when oral’s underway. It’s a roadmap of sorts. I’m fortunate, this is my strong suit. I can read a lover like a Dick-and-Jane book.
By understanding all those little subtle shifts in behaviour, you know when to switch up your technique to get a little added stimulation in, or to pull back so you can prolong the experience without having them blow their load too soon. It’s torturously delightful when the whole process is dragged out for as long as you can make it last.
My record for delivering oral on a guy was spread out well over an hour, and with his reaction and the night that followed it, my time proved to be very well spent. There are some situations that scream for you to dote and linger and take the slow route around. (In my books, that always includes light bondage.)
I’m not afraid to make an entire night about the guy. Or to at least try. I’ve never had a guy let me make it all about him. Half-way through, they’re always so riled they feel compelled to take charge.
And who am I to argue, then? It’s one of the perks of showering your lover with affection — limiting their ability to be involved in the process always heightens the payback. And I do so love payback.
If I wanted to deliver The Perfect Scenic Route Blowjob, it’d take a little scheming. Naturally, he wouldn’t know I had this in mind. Where’s the fun in that?
I would be planning to give loverboy a full-body massage that would slowly turn into bondage. I’d do firm but sensual deep issue work, keeping it fairly innocuous… for a while.
If not already naked midway through the massage, I’d remedy it and undress. Straddling him, sitting on his ass, I’d work my way lower on his back. When through there, I’d have him roll over, and he’d naturally be rock hard by now.*
I’d have a bind or tie of some kind under the pillow, and upon straddling his front, I’d lean in for a kiss, pin his arms playfully over his head, then produce the rope. Of course he’d give his permission (because I only date intelligent men) and I’d then tie his hands up.
Then it’s all about exploring, isn’t it? Kissing, sucking, nibbling from head to toe and back again… but stopping often for long, involved cock teasing.

e-blowjob-gitte-STOR

Where I start with a blowjob is by grabbing the base of the shaft. This isn’t even an option. Need I repeat that? Not an option, sisters. A good firm grasp around the shaft is a great start, but it’s also great to have the testicles involved in this lovely grasp, as well. Cup them, and maybe play with his balls, rolling them in your hand, but don’t overdo it ‘cos you don’t want to get him too riled too early.
This whole process is going to be about giving and denying — taking him to the brink and knowing when to stop so you can stretch that tease to the maximum. If you can prolong it as long as possible, the orgasm (from my experience) is of the earth-shattering, full-body spent kind. (My favourite, personally.)
From that point, baby, it’s all mix’n’match. There’s no real process. Vary it like mad, not sticking with any one technique for longer than a minute or so. If I can see his face and know he’s concentrating with furrowed brows or biting his lip intensely, then I’ll probably prolong that move just a tad since it’s obvious he’s in another place with it. There are no rules… just make it good and make it last.
Among my favourite moves:
The Explorer: Licking hard and slow up from the base of the shaft, over the head, nibbling the tip oh-so-gently before going open-mouth and deep over the whole shaft, closing lips hard over him, sucking hard but teasingly slow all the way up, then making a couple short little slurping passes over the tip. I repeat the whole move a few times in a row, usually producing a couple tortured little shudders at the very least.
The Nibbler: Imagining you’re a dainty little old English lady working her way around a tea biscuit with the littlest of nibbles. You’ll work your way from base to tip ever so delicately nibbling the skin lengthwise, and when you get to the tip, you’ll simply mouth the top of his cock and his glans and toy with him using your tongue and sucking with varying degrees of pressure.

Women, for the love of god, if you can’t nibble without applying any painful pressure, do NOT do it at all! If you’ve never nibbled cock before, go gentle, please! Once you’re into the experience, ask him if he’s comfortable with you proceeding. Not every guy is trusting enough to let a chick teeth him. But he should be. Unless he’s fond of denying himself the most sinful of pleasures.

The Creamsicle: Ah, let’s hear it for the classics. Fondly recall those days of old when you’d grab yourself an orange creamsicle and suck it whole in your mouth, up and down, until it was too weak to last much longer. So too will be your man’s cock if you’re attentive enough with this trusty old standby. If you don’t lay hard tongue pressure against the side of his cock as you suck the length of the shaft, then why don’t you?
Now, the downside of the Creamsicle is that it tends to get him off a little too quickly if you overdo it. I prefer short bursts of Creamsicling (unless I’m winding up my services, and then I give it all I’ve got). I’ll often make sure I’m clutching his shaft hard and tugging in rhythm with my lipservice. This, too, can be problematic when you’re trying to prolong his experience.
PART TWO? I thought you’d never ask.
*By the way, if a guy isn’t hard, putting his soft cock in your mouth and gumming and sucking him tends to drive him wild and gets him hard in a hurry. Always a pleasant surprise if the blowjob begins out of the blue. Try this next time you’re just watching TV. Get down on your knees, open his pants up, and set yourself onto his soft cock. Especially do this if you know there’s some chick he likes in the show or something. Why not indulge his little fantasy, and later, help him indulge yours?

The Fine Art of Massage

For me, one of the most passionate things I can do for a man is a massage, and if he does it right, likewise.
I take massages very, very seriously. A great massage takes you to a different place. Paying for a massage is one thing, but receiving one from a lover fills me with raw desire while setting me on a wave of bliss.

Contours

I’ve been known to deliberately give male friends shitty massages. In fact, I generally try to avoid touching them at all. Keeps shit simple. I’d be in a world of trouble if they knew the truth about me. Seems a little late for that now, though.
I love giving hour-long full-body massages. I love to trade them like favours. It’s a delightfully erotic evening in.
For a woman, I have strong hands. They’re broader across the palm, and my fingers are pretty solid. I can apply a lot of pressure, and the nice thing is, my hands and fingers are perfectly shaped for massage. They’re not sharp and bony, and digging into tissue isn’t invasive.
But you can always adjust your technique if you don’t have the “right” hands. The trick is, when you’re massaging with fingers, to make sure the portion coming in contact is that part under the crease, over your top joint nearest your finger tip. This allows you to use the rounded-yet-flat surface to keep your lover most relaxed.

I need to ask you all a question. Is it just me, or is there a point where fingernails get too long? I don’t let mine grow past my fingertip. Long enough to trace over skin, but short enough not to gouge. Lord knows a man better manicure before he starts giving me an external, nevermind internal. Those little jutting bits on nails can cause an awful lot of pain.

While I'm here, shall I rim you?

I digress. The heel of the palm is the best part of your hand when it comes to massage. Lord, is it ever. And the outer ridge of your thumb, as it extends down towards your wrist. This works the best when you’re squeezing ligaments and muscles on the shoulder tops and neck area, as well as the arms, legs, and the always-yummy ass.
It’s a shame my skills are going to waste, really. I have so much to contribute to mankind. What a sin.
Anyhow, for you, my friends, in anticipation of next weekend’s hijinks, some recipes for massage oils as included in InterCourses: An Aphrodisiacs Cookbook, one of my most prized cookbooks. From Terrace Books, published in 1997. (You think my photography array on here’s yummy? Check out that book. Makes you want seconds.)
But if you haven’t the time to cook up a love potion, I highly recommend “Love Butter” by Auracacia. (The link takes you to a site selling it cheaper than I’ve seen it before.)
It’s solid cocoa butter scented with the essence of ylang-ylang oil, whose properties are that of an aphrodisiac. It’s worked like a charm for me. Definitely a recipient of the Steff Seal of Success. When you put it on skin, it melts, literally like butter in your hand. Not unlike the massage recipient when he/she experiences it. Just enough slippage, just enough friction, the perfect combination for a sensual massage.
The recipes.

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“yummy yummy juicy warm”
to 1 ounce jojoba oil, add:
21 drops sandlewood oil
6 drops of ylang-ylang
5 drops steam-distilled lime

“the heady oil of good feelings”
to 1 ounce jojoba oil, add:
13 drops Frankensence
6 drops patchouli
5 drops steam-distilled lime
“relieve anxiety, restore balance”
to 1 ounce jojoba oil, add:
6 drops geranium
6 drops clary sage
6 drops ylang-ylang
“sultry-sweet aphrodisiac potion”
to 1 ounce jojoba oil, add:
3 drops jasmine
34 drops sandlewood
(as written in the book:)
mixing your own massage is a simple process to follow: simply mix 6 to 8 parts of essential oil for every 1/8th cup (25 ml or 1 fl. oz) of base oil. essential oils are available at health food and natural food stores. vegetable oils work nicely as the base — try almond, avocado, olive, sunflower, hazelnut, or jojoba. mix with your signature concoction of essential oils. store in an airtight container in a cool, dark place.*
*steff’s tip? store it in the fridge. buy yourself one of those little electric plug-in cup warmers for hot beverages at work, and put it bedside. when you’re wanting to heat things up with your lover of choice, fill a small bowl with the oil before the massage, and place it on the warmer. hot oil, hot massage, hot night.

the above recipes from InterCourses by way of the Aromatherapy Catalogue.

on girl love

lesbians7oc

the more i write this blog, the more i think of girl love.
it’s not that i’m attracted to women, because on the larger scale, i’m not. but there are those few people who transcend gender and sexuality. those people with such effusive senses of self that it’s nigh impossible to not get turned on watching them.
every now and then, there’s a chick with the right hair, the right clothes, the right demeanour, and some kinda sexy goin’ on, all combined to a T.
my god, my interest flares. it’s kind of like the perfect alignment of the sexual cosmos. but it would take a lotta woman to get my lovin’.
that said, if i were lured to the pussy side, it’d have to be because of the softness and the contours of a woman’s body. i wouldn’t go for skinny chicks, i don’t think. a little curve would be necessary, but how much curve wouldn’t really matter. anything but the grand flats, if you know what i’m saying.
as a photographer, i know i would be aroused by having a really hot chick naked on my bed. i can’t help it. physicality in front of me just gets me riled. i’d have to seize the opportunity to shoot her, and in so doing, my intrigue would escalate. i’d need to touch, to explore.
i mean, having her just lie there, naked, natural, and at my beck and call? my god. i’m not strong enough to resist that.
__________
the closest i’ve probably ever come to taking a chick up on the offer was back in the day when i had long hair, up in the yukon.
now, you need to know that my hair is probably among the thickest i’ve ever seen. even thinned out, it tends to be 3-4″ thick when long.
these days, riding a bike and needing to wear a nasty motorcycle helmet daily, i keep it extremely short and punky.
but back then, my hair would get me the most amazing reactions from total strangers. the nicest compliment i’ve ever received, to this day, came from a passer-by on the street.
that day, a man was about 30 or so feet away, walking past to a store, when he caught my eye on a sidewalk cafe, double-took, and crossed over to me.
“excuse me. look, i’m not coming on to you. i’m married, but i just needed to tell you that you have the most beautiful hair i’ve ever seen, and i hope you never cut it. that’s all i wanted to say.” he smiled. “have a great day.”
and he spun around, just like that. never saw him again.
the next most memorable “hair moment,” for me, was in the yukon, in legendary dawson city, when i encountered yukon girl.
i was camping with some friends for a couple nights at a site with no facilities, so i was just cleaning up in a public washroom up there when this chick comes out of a stall. i was smoothing some product in my hair and she saw my face in the mirror. she stepped into my reflection, and said to me, “are you a leo?”
and i laughed, “no.”
so she said, “with that lion’s mane of hair, honey, you oughtta be.”
she growled playfully, and i couldn’t help but grin. i turned to face her. she then proceeded to tell me her campsite number and that she was probably staying behind in her tent that night as her friends were going to the music fest.
she stepped closer, her tits nearly touching mine. “maybe you want to come play.”
i was younger and a little shocked. i’d had chicks come onto me occasionally, but never this brazenly, and never this hot.
today, i’d have gone and played.

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she was my height, about 5’7, and hot long auburn dreadlocks, but the really nice kind. basically, she was a hot, hot hippy chick.
now, i don’t usually dig hippies ‘cos hygeine’s so big for me, and some of them just take it too fucking far. she, however, had taken it nowhere near far. in fact she never left “fine.”
i was very hot for her, to tell the truth. i was just scared — scared of the experience, scared of my sexuality, scared of what it might mean.
but not anymore. i’ve had few regrets in my life, but passing on that opportunity would be one. i can’t help but imagine sinking my teeth into a piece of that.
are you out there, yukon girl? honey, if opportunity’s knocking, i’m answering.

Bad Ass

Navarro2

Ooh, all those piercings. Makes me wonder if you got royalty, too.
I dunno, I’ve been with some bad boys, but you might just be the baddest yet.
If I get you.
If I do… oh. I don’t even think I can tell you the things I’m thinking of doing.
The passion that emanates from you… I wanna be provoking that. Receiving that. Enjoying that.
When I think of the things you create with those hands, I want to be a part of them, to be under them. To control them, deprive you of them, and then to be at their mercy.
I adore the way you speak… that deep, sexy, measured voice. The way you articulate with passion, the way your sounds jumble together every now and then, thanks to your pierced tongue.
And, oh, do I want a piece of that.
Yeah, I came here looking for inspiration. And in you, it just walked right on in.

momentary distractions


it’s the little transgressions that sometimes bring, for me, the deepest flares of desires. a passing glance, a mistaken brush… hopefully this evokes the mood of exploiting that ever so slightly.

_________

hot, hot heat engulfs those on the bus.
every window cracked, every jacket removed, but still the swelter wears on.
the bus rumbles along the blazing city streets, lurching in and out of stops, constantly upheld by construction crews struggling with upgrades plaguing the town. stagnation is the order of the day and exhaustion seems inescapable, universal.
the redhead in the pink tank top exhales wearily in her outward-facing bus seat and rolls her head around, stretching her neck. looking down, she studies her bare arms. beads of sweat cling to her. she smooths the moist beads along her forearm, then changes songs on her mp3 player.
her legs are damp with sweat, like the rest of her. a warm breeze blows in from the windows, causing her inner thighs to tingle slightly. hoping for more of the same, she half-stands, reverses her crossed legs, and shimmies her floral miniskirt back down before resuming contact with the sticky vinyl seat.
she glances up, still shifting herself, and catches him staring at her. she peers over her light sunglasses at him: sexy, full lips, thick dark hair, dark eyes, olive skin… and a wedding band. she looks at the band and then his eyes.

hand-portrait-1

he keeps her gaze, as if dominating her with his eyes, and twists the ring slowly around his finger, sliding it half off before putting it back in place. he presses his wide strong hands flat against his seersucker pants, letting them slip sideways slightly, each inching slightly lower on his inner thigh, as he lustfully looks her over.
her lips are slightly upturned with interest now. she pushes her sunglasses higher on the bridge of her nose. she subtly runs her tongue over her teeth with her mouth slightly open as she traces a finger under the strap of her tank top down towards her sweaty breast. she looks back to the man across the aisle.
he shifts in his seat, inhaling sharply. he eyes her, biting on his lower lip, his irises as dark as his imagined intentions. with his fingers, he makes repeated strokes along his inner thigh.
breaking their gaze and glancing down, she understands his motions. she knows what those fingers would be doing to her if they were inside her right now. what she would be doing.
she brings a fingertip to her lips and nibbles playfully. her full pink lips encase the tip perfectly. she nibbles her nail and he stares hungrily as she begins to further toy with him, subtly flicking her tongue lightly back and forth over her tip with serpentine skill. all the while, she gazes tauntingly at him.
glancing around, noticing no one seems wise to them, he picks up his leather attache and places it over his lap, where one hand remains resting atop his stiffening member, and he shifts himself awkwardly, having lost himself in the beads of sweat clinging in her cleavage, trickling down, and down…

ga05

he’s fascinated by her pale breasts bouncing with the rough ride of that bus over the unfinished roads. he imagines that this is how she would look riding him — sweating, jiggling, wearied, still wanting, but wasted by the heat.
he looks at her, that desire playing in his mind, when his head dips weakly to the side and drops as he remembers that small matter of his life.
he glances down at his left hand spread flat over the black leather case, the gold ring gleaming on his olive skin. his face clouds in disappointed resolution. he sighs and smiles sadly at her, extending the ring finger and the band, flicking the gold almost derisively with his thumbnail.
she shrugs indifferently and smiles. she mouths the words, “my stop,” as she reaches up and pulls the bell cord.
she stands and smooths her crumpled sweat-dampened miniskirt down her bare thighs. she dips her sunglasses and winks coyly at the man and goes.
the doors close.
the man turns around and stares through the pane, watching the redhead swagger down the sidewalk, as if she even remotely senses the damage she’s done.
he sighs, leans his head back, closes his eyes, and under the attache, he rubs… imagining a different kind of cord in her hands, a different kind of release, a different kind of life.

Damien: Concludes

(To join the party where it starts, read part one here and part two here.)
When we left off, Damien was devouring me with oral. If you don’t want that, don’t read the earlier parts (you silly). We pick up well into his muff-diving ventures, where I’m on the verge of reaching my very happy place.

_________________
clutch your pictures of the pope
pray to god for love and hope

I didn’t care about potential spectators now. All I wanted was to come. Gasping, I let go of him and clutched the counter’s edge as I leaned away from him, spreading my legs the little further they could go. His tongue plunged into me, flicking and darting, as his thumb began feverishly massaging my clit.

19-yulblog-hot

I accidentally bit my lip so hard it bled as my body shook its way to orgasm. Coming, I shuddered violently and collapsed against the wall. He continued sucking and nibbling, which was becoming unbearable now that I was through, so I forced him off of me, pulling his head up and away from my mounds until he was eye-level with me.
Still looking hungry — famished — he gnashed his mouth against mine. Our tongues began fighting with each other as he leaned his still-hard cock against me.

bring the virgin home for luck
bolt the door down, keep it shut

Biting my lip and taunting me, lightly toying with my pubes, he dug into his pocket and produced a condom. He tore the packet open, and before he could proceed, I took it from him.
Gripping his shaft’s base and tugging slowly, but hard, back and forth with my left hand, I used my right hand to slip the condom on his throbbing cock and unrolled it as slowly and deliberately as I could, tugging all the while, until the rubber extended fully.
He kissed me hard as I stroked him a few times more, but then he again pinned my arms behind my back as his cock fumbled its way to my vaginal opening and then, with pressure, slid tightly between my swollen, shivering lips.

i tried hard to mend my wicked ways

We fucked fast and furious, knowing the partygoers lingering across the lawn, seeing them flicker their flashlights on the leaves in the forest, past the greenhouse, the sounds of their shallow, distant laughter contrasting with our slurping, thumping, and the smacking of rapid fucking, all rounded out nicely by our endless gasps and groans.

the damage done
there’s nothing left to save

Neither of us were interested in making this a long, meaningful encounter, and that much was clear as he held my legs up and thrust deep and long into me, over and over and over and over again.

and i tried
and i tried
and i tried
and i tried

I’d never had such a frenzied, semi-public session of sex like that before, being only 20. Judging by Damien’s fevered thrusting, it was a new experience for him, too. I was so riled, so ready to come.

nude (53)

He bit his lip and gutterally groaned, moving his hands around my ass, and pulled me as hard onto his cock as he could, holding me there as long as he could, throbbing hard inside me, as he gyrated his cock ever so slightly. Mere moments of this, and I couldn’t help but orgasm. Gasping, I shuddered violently during that hard, sustained thrust, tremendously weakening his resolve as I collapsed against him.
He groaned and gritted his teeth, slowly pulling his cock out, then forcing it back in, hard. And again. And again.


and i tried

and i tried
and i tried

And I moaned. He thrust hard into me a fourth time, but this time, was rocked with convulsions and crumpled against me, coming almost painfully, groaning, with his neck and face covered in sweat as he gasped for breath, his mouth cupping my neck. “Mm,” he chuckled weakly, now wasted and spent.

clutch your pictures of the pope
just like i told you
pray to god for love and hope
just like i warned you

We stayed there for a few minutes, slumped, still wet, against each other, just getting our breaths back. I noticed the partygoers hadn’t advanced one bit.
“We could’ve taken our time after all.”
Damien looked outside, looked at me, and laughed.
“Mm, god, no. I wouldn’t change a thing. We did just fine,” he sighed, still exhausted.
“Beats the hell out of lame techno, at the very least.”
“Oh, hell, that might even beat the shit out of the Beasties, you know, and they rock. Hard.” He groaned softly, and nibbled my neck, softly singing their anthem. “You gotta fight for your right — to par-tay…”
I chuckled quietly.
With that, we tidied up at a nearby sink to return to the party. We kept the conversation light. Neither of us mentioned seeing each other again.
After that night, we ran in the same circles occasionally, and always shared a knowing smile, but nothing more. As cool as he was, you just knew he couldn’t be a “boyfriend.”
Didn’t matter. Before long, I was back with T. anyways.
T., who never did find out.

bring the virgin home for luck
just like i told you
bolt the door down, keep it shut
just like i warned you

Which is just as well… considering.